The Power of Humility

Written by Sterling Mire

Practicing the art of humility in our lives allows us access to so many answers to our questions and to the endless gifts others have to share with us. Life is richer, more colorful and experienced in a satisfying way.

Very few people today even know what the word humility means and the value of it. Why is being humble such a powerful and extraordinary way of being? When we are being humble, we are demonstrating quiet confidence. We know we are no better or lesser than anyone else. We know we have access to our own personal power and therefore, do not have anything to prove, because we just know we are.

When we practice being humble, we open ourselves up to the world and allow ourselves to grow and learn things that serve our evolution. Our greatest leaders in the world practice humility: Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Albert Einstein, Mother Theresa, Abraham Lincoln, Jesus Christ, Stephen Hawking, just to name a few. Being humble opens up a world of possibilities that other wise could never be. It also keeps life itself a fascinating, curious, awe-inspiring adventure. We are also given the gift of connectedness with our fellow human beings – a very fulfilling experience! Humble people know the value of everything that exists in the world. They can observe life and appreciate everything about it.

Humble people are strong, charismatic and powerful.  They have access to providing solutions towards the betterment of the outer world, and in turn, bettering their own inner world.  When we are practicing being humble, we shift from being driven by the limitations of the ego and are able to soar limitlessly through the higher wisdom that lies within all of us.  We are free. We are able to create our existence without constraints or restrictions. We are at the helm of directing our lives to anywhere we desire.

Humility is a balance between being worthy and yet seeing the worth in everyone and everything in life.

The Source Disconnect

connecting to source image .jpg

Written by Sterling mire

There are times when we unconsciously disconnect from the source of all creation in an effort to escape pain that comes with confronting our issues.

There are times when we feel helpless and ineffective in our lives. These are the times we become disconnected from the source of all authentic creative expression. Often the reason for this is self-sabotage.

We unconsciously, yet intentionally, separate ourselves from our source of power rendering us powerless in our own lives. It is all done in an effort to avoid painful issues, although, these issues are calling to us to pay attention, work through, and therefore experience a breakthrough that takes us to a new plateau in our world. This new level of existence allows us to feel stronger, become wiser, become more successful and understand the inner workings of life and our true purpose in life. When we align to our soul’s purpose and take on the challenges that come with our lives, we become more empowered to create that which we are truly excited and inspired to experience.

By unconsciously choosing to disconnect and interrupt the flow of creativity from our source, you are actually choosing to sleepwalk through life and our vision for our lives and future become hazy and scattered. Our creative source has not abandoned you, it was you who chose to abandon it. The choice to reconnect is and always been solely your choice as it was when the choice was made to block and unplug from the source of all creation. Dr. Wayne Dyer goes on to say in his article, “Spiritual Disconnect”., “Ask yourself this key question, “How do I feel most of the time?” If your answer is that you feel anxious, anguished, hurt, depressed, frustrated, and so on, then you have a spiritual disconnect.

When we come back to the source, we are coming back to our true selves. This gives us a sense of being profoundly related to reality, security and the ability to see our lives clearly. We can reconnect by taking ourselves to a place that inspires you like nature. We can also engage in activities that allow us to feel fully alive. What is it that touches, moves and inspires you?
When were the times you felt centered, profoundly blissful and alive? Make a list and work from there. We can also create a powerful intention to reconnect with a 5, 10, 30 minute meditation where ever we are. If you live a busy life, try my Meditation on the Go exercises. They are pocket-sized meditations but deliver powerful results in just minutes.

When we’ve lost our connection to the universe, our sense of purpose, direction, fulfillment and satisfaction in our lives become non-existent. We may also feel a total lack in our lives: lack of love, lack of energy and a lack of motivation. Yet, we can always remember who we really are by restoring our connection whenever we are ready. When it’s time to come alive again and soar we will be experiencing a whole new level in life richer in experience and knowledge, less fearful next time we are called into looking at our lives and confronting what’s not working.

 

 

 


 

Rebirth is the Energy of Spring

                                                          BY STERLING MIRE   Spring is the season in our lives for rebirth and renewing – physically and spiritually.   It is the first month of spring in our year of 2018. You may even sense that it is time to spring clean your home or feel an urge to let go and begin anew. I am noticing that nature is signaling this movement forward and we can follow its lead. Just the yesterday, I noticed a beautiful plant with a single azure colored flower was blooming within a concrete crack. A sign that even if there is pressure around us we can still penetrate the forces within us that wants to hold us back and spring forth a new branch of ourselves.  I have recently removed carpeting and installed hardwood floors in my home and also filled up at least six huge bags of clothes and other things to donate from my home. I want to be lighter and hold on to less stuff – physically, emotionally and spiritually. While doing so, it caused me to reevaluate my priorities, and notice I am ready to welcome in new things, people, events and situations into my life. I feel like I am really in the here and now, not bogged down with what was.  Below I have highlighted four of our services to help you clear, organize, and bring more beauty into your own life. All services are powerful in their own right. See which one speaks to you – in the here and now.    The AOM System  by Get Your Life Now. This is one of our all-time best-selling services. Receive powerful tools to free yourself from past burdens emerging in the bright light of the future, unencumbered and inspired to move into the destiny of your dreams. This revolutionary system is everything you need to live the life you envision – quickly, effortlessly and joyously.  This 30 day course will transform  all  areas of your life. Available in person or via phone, FaceTime, WhatsApp, Google Hangouts and FaceBook.   ReNew You  by Intuitive Life by Sterling is a one time session either in person or via phone or live video as all services are offered. Start anew, start fresh, re-invent your relationship to anything in your life into a place of total empowerment. Move from being held back to total freedom!   Life Coaching on the Go!  By Intuitive Life by Sterling. This 4 week course allows you to go at your own pace. Each week you will be given a new course that is designed to create a break-though in your life. These exercises are fun, easy and can be done anywhere/anytime and as many times as you’d like to create the empowering results you are looking for. Enjoy this online course at a special spring rate of 50% off!   Refresh – 15 min. Green Guided Meditation  – a free gift from Intuitive Life by Sterling. Download this fast-acting meditation to any device and enjoy its restorative powers.  I want to thank all of you for the wonderful open-hearted feedback and “thank you” messages sharing stories of your own personal break-through’s and achievements. It is such an honor and privilege to know and work with you!  Magical miracles,   Sterling Mire

                                                         BY STERLING MIRE

Spring is the season in our lives for rebirth and renewing – physically and spiritually.

It is the first month of spring in our year of 2018. You may even sense that it is time to spring clean your home or feel an urge to let go and begin anew. I am noticing that nature is signaling this movement forward and we can follow its lead. Just the yesterday, I noticed a beautiful plant with a single azure colored flower was blooming within a concrete crack. A sign that even if there is pressure around us we can still penetrate the forces within us that wants to hold us back and spring forth a new branch of ourselves.

I have recently removed carpeting and installed hardwood floors in my home and also filled up at least six huge bags of clothes and other things to donate from my home. I want to be lighter and hold on to less stuff – physically, emotionally and spiritually. While doing so, it caused me to reevaluate my priorities, and notice I am ready to welcome in new things, people, events and situations into my life. I feel like I am really in the here and now, not bogged down with what was.

Below I have highlighted four of our services to help you clear, organize, and bring more beauty into your own life. All services are powerful in their own right. See which one speaks to you – in the here and now. 

The AOM System by Get Your Life Now. This is one of our all-time best-selling services. Receive powerful tools to free yourself from past burdens emerging in the bright light of the future, unencumbered and inspired to move into the destiny of your dreams. This revolutionary system is everything you need to live the life you envision – quickly, effortlessly and joyously.  This 30 day course will transform all areas of your life. Available in person or via phone, FaceTime, WhatsApp, Google Hangouts and FaceBook.

ReNew You by Intuitive Life by Sterling is a one time session either in person or via phone or live video as all services are offered. Start anew, start fresh, re-invent your relationship to anything in your life into a place of total empowerment. Move from being held back to total freedom!

Life Coaching on the Go! By Intuitive Life by Sterling. This 4 week course allows you to go at your own pace. Each week you will be given a new course that is designed to create a break-though in your life. These exercises are fun, easy and can be done anywhere/anytime and as many times as you’d like to create the empowering results you are looking for. Enjoy this online course at a special spring rate of 50% off!

Refresh – 15 min. Green Guided Meditation – a free gift from Intuitive Life by Sterling. Download this fast-acting meditation to any device and enjoy its restorative powers.

I want to thank all of you for the wonderful open-hearted feedback and “thank you” messages sharing stories of your own personal break-through’s and achievements. It is such an honor and privilege to know and work with you!

Magical miracles, 

Sterling Mire

40 (Yes, 40!) Ways To Create Space For Breakthroughs In Your Life!

business-woman-punching-air-joy-portrait-reading-text-message-56765621.jpg

Written by Sterling Mire

There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of disorder in your life. As Albert Einstein once stated, “Three rules of work: out of clutter find simplicity, from discord find harmony, in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

Unexpected challenges are what make us stronger, so don’t avoid them. Be mindful of the following 50 tips and you’ll be able to streamline your life so it's smooth sailing this year.

1. Recycle old papers that are filling up the space in your house. I get this way from time to time, tables or drawers over-loaded with old receipts, junk mail, records, and notes to myself. Sort through it. Organize it and set it free so it can live a reincarnated life elsewhere. 

2. Mentally prepare get ready for change by visualizing your ideal self. Think of someone you admire the most. Imagine that you are them. Would you then choose to be unstoppable and an eternal optimist in life? What do you think about and see for your future? Who do you want to BE in life? See it through your mind's eye so you can take it to the skies!

3. Realize the unexpected can be a good. The Dalai Lama once said, “Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.” Sometimes we don't always know what we want would look like, but the Universe does.

4. Ask people you respect how they created their lives. One of my favorite things to do is reading biographies of people I truly respect and admire. It is another good source of understanding how people overcome the breakdowns in life and still find happiness and success through it all. Truly inspiring!

5. Cut back or cut out alcohol, cigarettes and other vices. Escape mechanisms can be crutches that askew our judgment. Not only can the money saved be turned into vacations or other healthy rewards but it can keep you from getting stopped in life. 

6. Remove negativity from your life, whether it's people or a job you no longer want to do. If you surround yourself with people who bring you down, there’s no need to keep engaging with them out of obligation. Set them free as well as yourself. Who knows, maybe you'll meet up at another time when you both are headed in the same direction

7. Begin your day with a clearly created day along with your cup of morning coffee or tea. Defining what you intend to do in the day along with how you consciously create your experience of it exponentially creates success and keeps you on track. Writing it down allows for focus, memory and a connection that is essential. 

8. Clean your house from top to bottom and throw away anything outdated. A clean, organized space is a clean, organized mind. Our environment effects our emotions, energy and our frame of mind. Besides, you could be breathing excitement into someone's life when you donate your clutter to GoodWill or other charity organizations. Now that's a win-win!

9. Create a clear filing system for your personal records. Clearing up your desktop, creating folders, organizing your computer is one of the best ways to avoid time wasted and empty frustrations when trying to locate your personal records. Set aside just a few minutes a day to donate to this endeavor and you will thank me later. 

10. Do your grocery shopping on a convenient day of the week. If you work M-F then go after work. Leave your weekends open for more important things like what makes you the most happy. Make a list, budget, and get only what you need to save time and money.

11. Take a career test that will help you distinguish your strong points. If you are stuck in your career or job but not sure how to move on, this could be a great way to start opening the door to new, inspiring opportunities. 

12. Work with a life coach to get the most out of life. Nowadays, it’s common for people to have personal workout trainers. Why not invest in all areas of your life so you can achieve maximum results? Many people are struggling with dead weight from the past or emotional baggage that is holding them back. Deal with them and move on with professional assistance such as a life coach. I have perfected a revolutionary manual for life called “The Art of Manifestation System”. It is a air-tight guide that will take you there. www.getyourlifenow.com  for more details or call for your free consultation.

13. Go through cabinets and throw out expired food items. The last time I did this, I found some interesting things. Once gone I felt lighter and it was worth it (plus I could find things I was previously looking for). 

14. Make a clear diet plan with an emphasis on whole grains, fruits and vegetables. A healthy diet plan has a tremendous effect on your overall energy levels, your mood and your state of mind. Did you know that you can get plenty of protein from vegetables? Look at Gorilla's. They are vegan yet stronger than any muscle man. If you do want to continue eating meat, remember the ratio: 80% vegetables, 20% protein. 

15. Add vitamin pills to your daily diet. Vitamin supplements can help reduce the possibility of cancer and osteoporosis, among other disorders. If you are feeling unusually tired or out of sorts and can’t discern the cause, consider taking an inexpensive blood test to take a closer look at the vitamin stores in your body. You would be surprised how many people are missing vitamin B12, vitamin D, and other energy producing vitamins. This can really make a difference! Also, a great energy booster and great detox fast is eating only fruit for 1 day of the week. For best results, food combine, meaning, eat only one kind of fruit in a sitting. If you want to eat a different fruit, wait at least 1 hour before doing so. You skin will definitely glow, you'll have tons of energy and your tummy will shrink. 

 16. Work out a clear exercise plan with an activity that you enjoy such as dancing or biking. I love reading while on the elliptical machine – this way I get to do two things I love at the same time. As long as it’s active, it counts.

17.  Set appointments you’ve been putting off. It’s easy to put off going to the doctor or dentist until we are sick, but preventive care is extremely important in overall health levels. Take care of your health by getting an inexpensive massage at the many newly established foot spas once a week.

 18. Take up a mental exercise. Crossword puzzles, Lumosity, or other word games along these lines are more than just a good way to pass time. They have been shown in studies to help improve overall mental capabilities.

19.Keep a diary. Writing out your thoughts at the end of the day is a good way to unwind and release the day even if you just take 5 focused minutes on this endeavor you’d be pleasantly surprised by the results. Finish off your entry with a list of what you are grateful for. This sets you up for excellent sleep and refreshes you in the morning, setting you up for moving in the right direction in your day. 

20. Make a reading list and join a book club. Most people state that they want to read more, but without an actual plan you may not make the time to do this. Joining a book club not only serves as a social activity but also keeps you up to date with your own reading list. Did you know the benefits of reading are: boosts concentration, exercises spelling, improves knowledge, relaxes you, expands writing skills and enlivens thinking skills, just to name a few things. 

20. Spend time with yourself each day.  Spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to process and create order.

22. Practice breathing exercises or meditation. Stress can have a debilitating effect on our overall productivity levels. When stressed, I notice I hold my breath. Take the time to take deep breaths and improve oxygen flow to the brain.

23. Speak and act with honesty and integrity. Are you able to stand by what you do and say? If not, it may be time to reexamine your own words and learn to clearly communicate your thoughts in an open, honest way. This helps eliminate mistakes down the road and keeps you empowered.

24. Learn from past mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. It is part of what makes us human. Typically, we make a lot of them during our lifetime. As long as they aren’t repeated too many times, and are looked at and incorporated into our lives as a learning experience, they can be one of the best things that happen to us.

25. Volunteer to help others in your community. Give. Give what you have to give. Advice, love, support, help, time, food, toys, a few dollars, a hug, an ear, a smile, anything. Do it on a daily basis. Look for opportunity and life will not only reward you but your day will sing. Helping others is a rewarding way to get your own life together.

26. Take up a new language or hobby. You will come alive and create an extension of yourself you had not realized that wanted to be born. It's an important part of life. Refrain from looking at hobbies as a luxury but an essential part of a happy, balanced life. 

27. Read books that will contribute something to your life. Anything that expands your world and is uplifting will directly impact your life in a positive way.

28. Talk to a stranger. Spontaneous conversations can be surprisingly inspiring and enlivening.

29. Reconnect with friends and relatives who live far away. Call those people you miss but keep putting off calling. With the Internet, WhatApp, Google Hangout, FaceTime, FaceBook and Skype at your disposal what could possibly be stopping you?

30. Change your toothbrush. It can be filled with bacteria. Take naps or lie down with a meditation. Click here for a free 15 minute Green Meditation. Sleep is often incredibly underrated in its ability to boost energy, mood, and keep reaction times sharp. Drink at least 6 cups of water per day. Staying hydrated helps keep energy levels up and flushes out toxins.

31. Keep commitments scheduled. I am surprised how many people still don't organize their schedules in these busy, modern times. Take it off your mind by scheduling it. No remembering necessary except to look at your calendar. Set alarms to check your schedule or as a reminder to keep your eye on time.

32. Don’t put off difficult conversations. Deal with problems directly and immediately. This will result in a much lower level of anxiety for all involved and give you an opportunity to overcome something you dread turning it into victory and relief. Bonus: you'll get more and more comfortable and effective at communicating. Communication is everything. 

33. Make a list of priorities and do what makes you happy. If you have lost touch with your own priorities lately, it can make a huge difference to take the time to sit and think about what actually makes you happy and then plan it. And then do it.

34. Spend more time outdoors. Nature has an ability to help soothe a troubled mind and clear your thoughts. Taking a walk on the beach, in the woods, or sitting on top of a mountain can clear out the negativities or stress and put everything into perspective. 

35. Attend lectures. This could be any kind of lectures. It’s helpful to keep up-to-date on what’s going on in the world and plan accordingly. Keeping the mind active helps you in all aspects of your daily life.

36. Make laughter a priority. Hang out with some of your most jovial friends for a good dose of laughter, or simply sit back with some favorite old comedies. Laughter counts as exercise and has been shown to not only release stress, see life's challenges in a less significant way, but it also extends your life.

37. Clear some time each day to do nothing. As a child, I remember that we had “free time” scheduled into our school activities every day. This could be used for reading, drawing, or simply staring into space if that’s what we felt like doing. What a novel idea, and one that keeps the brain at ease. 

38. Learn new tips for entertaining and socializing. Throw a great dinner party or get together. Learn how to be a great host or hostess. This can give a big boost to your confidence levels and simply knowing how to introduce people properly helps break the ice and connect people on a deeper level. This leads to many breakthroughs for everyone.

39. Keep texting to a minimum. Text only when there is an urgent message to convey. Something that is not emotion based. When feelings or emotions are involved people tend to misunderstand even the most benign messages. Call or email a well-written message when the message is more than, “I’ll be there at 5:00 pm”.

40. Acknowledge people in your life on a regular basis. Oftentimes we think, “That’s a pretty blouse”, or “I am so happy such and such was made possible by _____” but we don’t say it. People are not mind-readers so even saying the obvious makes a huge difference in people’s lives. Remember, people want only 2 basic things in life: To be “gotten” for who they are and to make a difference in the world.

5 Ways to Let Go of Pain - Be Free!

                                                                                  Written By Sterling Mire

                                                                                Written By Sterling Mire

Giving something up can be the way to having everything.

Let’s face it – life hurts. There is no human being on the planet that hasn’t experienced emotional pain and/or trauma.

It’s an awful experience. Yes, agreed.

So, there is pain and what you do with pain is what is most important. Wouldn’t you rather be living your life fully again? Enjoying all that is wonderful and awe-inspiring or be stopped by the past incident that cannot be undone and continue suffering over it? No one truly wants to suffer so let’s explore the alternative.

Putting the blame on others is a seemingly easy enough way to handle the situation. We feel like someone let us down or did us wrong and we are owed an apology. We think they need to “own up” to what they did.

Blaming others and not taking responsibility for ourselves is the fastest way to being powerless in our lives and leaves us stuck with anger, resentment and no resolving of the pain we feel. Yes, you have valid feelings. It’s important to acknowledge them and express them fully but put a limit on how long you feel them. You can even say to yourself, “For the next 15-30 minutes I am going to cry my eyes out, write in my diary or say out loud how I feel and feel it 100% and then I am going to move forward with my day/night”. Getting into the habit of indulging in your grief is a vicious cycle. Remember, you are the one hurting more than the other person if you continue to “live” your pain over and over. It’s a balance. A balance of embracing what’s there for you to express and putting it away for the rest of the day or preferably resolving it and moving on.

5 Ways to Move Through Pain

The pathway to happiness, fulfillment and satisfaction in your life is to make room for it. If you are full of sadness, anger, bitterness how can the opposite show up for you?

1. Make a choice to let go

Things do not resolve themselves without you choosing it. If you avoid making a conscious effort to move on you could be setting yourself up to continue to keep the pain alive and drag it around in your life and even effecting your outer world in a negative way.

Choosing to let it go also means you are accepting that you have the choice to do so. You can decide to stop playing the story over and over in your mind every time you think of that person.

2. As mentioned before, an important step to moving on is expressing your pain. Find ways that are satisfying and healthy. Experiment with the tips mentioned above. Find a great listener, someone who you look up to.

Even though you may not have had the same amount of responsibility for the pain you’ve experienced, look to see what you are responsible for. What can you learn from this experience and do differently in the future? Choosing to be less free and trusting is not necessarily a great choice versus being more aware of what is actually being communicated before all hurt broke loose. Learn to really understand and get to know people before “jumping in”. The most successful relationships were built as friendships where mutual respect and admiration can grow. Consider taking communication classes. Ultimately, will you choose to become wiser from the experience or a victim?

3. Don’t choose to be a victim, choose to be a winning warrior

Being a victim can feel pretty good. We don’t have to take responsibility or take a good look at ourselves. But being a victim is like donning a costume of a decrepit zombie and that is just not who we authentically are. Your feelings are worthy but when we allow ourselves to wallow in them it becomes at the expense of everyone else in the world and we all matter – equally.

The good news is that we have a choice in every given moment. We can continue to feel bad about someone else’s actions (or lack of actions) or decide to feel GOOD! Taking responsibility for your own happiness is power and giving your power over to someone else to determine how you feel is absurd. No amount of obsessively thinking about a painful situation has ever fixed a relationship issue. So why choose it?

4. Be Here Now – In the Present Moment

Do you really know what it feels like to be powerfully present in the now? How liberating, freeing and just good it feels? Here’s an exercise that will help you get related to reality – now.

Either out loud or in your head notice 5 things you hear (if there are not five you can repeat something). Now, 5 things you see and 5 things you physically feel. Repeat the same exercise working your way down to 1.  5-4-3-2-1. When you’ve completed the exercise notice how you feel, your surroundings and your thoughts. Suddenly reality has taken over your imaginings.

5. Forgive Them as Well as Yourself

Perhaps we won’t forget someone’s poor behavior, but everyone is deserving of our forgiveness, including ourselves. Sometimes getting trapped in pain makes it occur like forgiveness isn’t an option, yet it is. Forgiveness is empathy and empathy connects us to the beauty, love and laughter in life. Accepting “what is” doesn’t mean you are agreeing with what happened. That it is ok to happen again and again and again but that it is ok that it happened once. Forgiveness is a true sign of strength because that is actually where strength comes from.

Forgiving yourself is just as important. Identify what you said to yourself about yourself after the breakdown occurred. That is what you want to forgive yourself for. For inventing and taking on a lie as if it is truth. Anything disempowering is inauthentic to who we truly are. Create something new, the truth, to live by.

Although letting go takes an effort. It requires us to be courageous, to be committed to our happiness and health. Everyday you hold on to pain is another day lost to it. Go ahead. You can do it. Choose to implement these exercises in your life and set yourself, and everyone else, free!

 

* * *

 

 

Dark Places We Find Ourselves In

                                                                                                                                       Written by Sterling Mire                                                                                           Sometimes it’s the darkness that leads us to our brightest light.    We often just want to go to where we envision our lives to be. We dream, have goals, we create plans and we want to experience it now. We desire happiness, health and success! When life leads us to places we don’t want to go we often interpret it to mean something’s wrong or we’ve made a mistake somehow. The truth is life is doing us a favor by presenting us a breakdown to overcome so we are better equipped for life’s breakthroughs. Difficulties are a sign that we need to wake up and work on something that needs our attention.  Often we need to “hit rock bottom” in order to soar. When we surrender to the process of working out a breakdown we are taking the first step into transformation. It allows us to realize there is something within the domain of what we don’t know we don’t know that creates the humbleness that moves us to discovering something new and necessary for our evolution and growth. Incomplete past experiences that have restricted our world and enslaved us in negativity is what there is to pay attention to. What mental conversations are going on in our mental chatter? These are the clues to what needs to be transformed, what we need to re-construct. Everything can be interpreted either positively or negatively. What are we going to choose? To find the good in what was disappointing and find the lessons we are to learn sets us free.   As with Dorothy in the “Wizard of Oz” we are all on a gold-bricked road that can suddenly turn dark. It’s when we remember that there is no City of Oz that will provide the answers. It is within ourselves that we recognize we are whole and complete, here and now and all answers to whatever we are looking for is within us. It is here we find the courage, inspiration and perfection that exists everywhere.  Having a mentor or coach is wonderful way to provide guidance and assist us with what we are working on  and  help identify what we sometimes can not see for ourselves.  For more information about coaching visit:  www.getyourlifenow.com

 

                                                                                                                                 Written by Sterling Mire

                                                                                       Sometimes it’s the darkness that leads us to our brightest light.

We often just want to go to where we envision our lives to be. We dream, have goals, we create plans and we want to experience it now. We desire happiness, health and success! When life leads us to places we don’t want to go we often interpret it to mean something’s wrong or we’ve made a mistake somehow. The truth is life is doing us a favor by presenting us a breakdown to overcome so we are better equipped for life’s breakthroughs. Difficulties are a sign that we need to wake up and work on something that needs our attention.

Often we need to “hit rock bottom” in order to soar. When we surrender to the process of working out a breakdown we are taking the first step into transformation. It allows us to realize there is something within the domain of what we don’t know we don’t know that creates the humbleness that moves us to discovering something new and necessary for our evolution and growth. Incomplete past experiences that have restricted our world and enslaved us in negativity is what there is to pay attention to. What mental conversations are going on in our mental chatter? These are the clues to what needs to be transformed, what we need to re-construct. Everything can be interpreted either positively or negatively. What are we going to choose? To find the good in what was disappointing and find the lessons we are to learn sets us free. 

As with Dorothy in the “Wizard of Oz” we are all on a gold-bricked road that can suddenly turn dark. It’s when we remember that there is no City of Oz that will provide the answers. It is within ourselves that we recognize we are whole and complete, here and now and all answers to whatever we are looking for is within us. It is here we find the courage, inspiration and perfection that exists everywhere.

Having a mentor or coach is wonderful way to provide guidance and assist us with what we are working on and help identify what we sometimes can not see for ourselves.

For more information about coaching visit: www.getyourlifenow.com

Meditation on the Go!

meditation in city image .jpeg

Written by Sterling Mire

Bust up stress, anxiety and panicky feelings in the middle of your day, in the middle of the city, in the middle of doing something. Be here now and let go anywhere. We all know it’s not always an easy feat to find a quiet, undisturbed spot to meditate especially when you find yourself in the eye of a stressful storm that comes on unexpectedly. That is why I’ve created these top 3 top ways to meditate while you are on the go!

1. Driving mediation: This is a great way to clear the past and the future, release tension and just be here now while stuck in traffic.  Take a look at what is around you. Chose something to notice. Maybe it’s a billboard, a building or perhaps a person walking down the street.  Just observe it/them without mentally creating opinions, stories, criticisms, etc. Just notice them. Once you feel you have noticed all there is to notice move on to another subject. Continue to do this while you are not having to pay attention to driving. Notice the space that opens up in you. Notice how you are simply being. Notice how life is suddenly manageable and possibly perfect!

2. Sitting Meditation: This meditation is a great way to ground yourself. You can do it while waiting. Waiting for your car to be repaired, waiting in an office reception area, or simply when you need to clear the mental chatter that has gotten so loud you can’t think straight. It’s also a wonderful way to banish anxiety. It’s called, 5,4,3,2,1. Take a full, deep breath from your belly up. After exhaling fully, count 5 things you see, hear and physically feel. Continue the exercise with 4 things you see, hear and physically feel all the way down to 1. It’s ok if you happen to be in quiet place and you only hear 2-3 things, just repeat whatever sound you hear. You will be left feeling profoundly related to reality - the now. Clarity follows and so does peace.

3. Walking Meditation: This one is a little like the driving meditation only you incorporate breathing deeply from the abdomen up while you observe the things you pass. Be with your surroundings. Notice the sky, the birds and whatever else is around you and connect with the beauty of it. If you get really good at this, you will hear nature saying, “Everything is ok” putting you at ease, synchronicity and flow.

Benefits:

1. Builds concentration – we all need this in the ADD world we live in.

2. Learn to automatically release tension – use these exercises frequently and you can learn to immediately drop tension as easily and quickly as flipping a switch.

3. Get out of your “imagination on fire” and get powerfully related to reality.

4. Allows you to be fully present – did you know that charisma is a product of being fully present? Who doesn’t want the charisma of a movie star or hero/heroine?

5. Creates strong connections with others and extraordinary experiences will follow. Get ready to be enchanted!

6. Provides perspective – this is one thing we often want when dealing with the challenging aspects or dilemmas of our lives – some distance.  I say, bring it on!

7. Improves intuition – have you ever wanted the “right” answer to show up? Well, it can and will if there is an empty, unblocked channel for it to show up in what is called your higher self. Also, provides clarity, which promotes peace and offers pathways we couldn’t access otherwise.

There you have it. No more excuses! Learn to meditate anywhere and anytime despite where you are, what is going on around you or how busy you are. It’s easy, very doable and the rewards are instant and plentiful.

Seeking Truth on the Other Side

We can experience bliss in our world if we have the knowledge.

 

Written by Sterling Mire

 

August 8th, just a few days ago, a dear friend of mine lost his life to Cancer. From what I understand, he is now enjoying his blissful afterlife. In the past several months, watching my friend fighting so bravely for the life he so cherished led me to want to understand more about what lies ahead of us when we expire here on earth.

My desire to find peace and acceptance within the situation has drawn me to want to hear what NDE’s (Near Death Experiencer’s) have say about the truth and answers to not just life after life, but life itself, here, as we know it. There are an outstanding number of NDE’s who came back into this realm with the understanding of life’s meanings. What is our true purpose in life? Some of you may be atheists, agnostics or perhaps a healthy skeptic like me. Yet, what challenges the skeptic in me is can all these people be wrong?  I think not. Furthermore, what strikes me about Near Death Experiences is that many who do return from the dead are atheists who are transformed believers in life after life without a shadow of a doubt. They even go on to explain that the afterlife is far more real than this life, extraordinary beyond belief in its perfection. They didn’t want to return to Earth although they loved their earthly life and everyone in their life. Yet, after hearing their descriptions, who could blame them? Hearing their captivating stories have been a deep comfort in my time of loss.

Many even drastically change their careers when they return from something meaningless to something meaningful. Many begin careers as teachers, mentors, psychics, healing profession, hospice nurses, public speakers, authors, and other paths that are associated with humanitarian fields.

It is not uncommon to lose the fear of death for NDE’s, which is the root of all our fears – loss and the loss of our lives tops the list.  

 When NDE’s talk about their life review when they were dead, they commonly express that they not only relive everything in their lives they also experience how they treated others by experiences their feelings as well. During this process the NDE may even feel shame, guilt and remorse for how they treated others. This is a profound teaching. NDE’s also go on to state that when being “praised” in Heaven it wasn’t for their accolades in life or achievements. It was simply for the way they interacted with others by caring for and loving fellow human beings.

NDE’s come back to life with a wealth of knowledge.  One of the most important pieces of knowledge they carry around with them in this is knowing we are one. Every day they are unwaveringly committed to generously taking care of fellow human beings. Not just family, friends – loved ones but everyone. At the end of their day they honestly ask themselves if they did enough for others. Helped, assisted, were there for others, gave love, became deeply compassionate.

Fortunately, we don’t have to have an Near Death Experience to take heed of this truth and knowledge that they have been given the opportunity to bring back to us.

We can start to shift our lives today in the direction of love and really giving to each and everyone we encounter. Imagine how life would be experienced differently for all of us. It would simply be Heaven on Earth.

Curious to know more? 

Afterlife Evidence

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDRooQmtFJ3V81101wGvi5Q

And

NDERF.org

 

 

Acceptance vs. Agreement

                                   Knowing the difference makes ALL the difference.     “Some of our greatest successes come from unconditional acceptance of all aspects of life.” ~Sterling Mire    My clients often ask me, “How can I possibly accept something if I don’t like or agree with it?” My answer is simple: Avoid resistance. I’ll explain. The reason why avoiding resistance is the solution to the problem is because what we resist  will  persist. If we resist what is so in this particular moment we will be giving energy to that which we would like to change. We feed the beast. Stop feeding the beast and that beast will disappear.  I am a fan of Eckhart Tolle. In his bestselling book, “The Power of Now”, he describes acceptance as this. Imagine you fell into quicksand. Your first instinct is to resist it by flailing your arms wildly to get out. The only thing you achieve by resisting is frustration, panic and exhaustion so you end up sinking. If you just accept what is so, “Ok, I just fell into quicksand. I accept that. It is what is so.”, this frees you up to begin to create a way out – and you do! Acceptance is not agreement. I must stress this. Accepting is acknowledging and allowing something to just be. Once we have done just that, then we can began to move into a solution driven direction with ease. Answers to our questions are free to come to us – physically and mentally. We are an open channel for guidance.  Life is fluid. It can  occur  as if what is happening to us in the moment is permanent. We are stuck and we begin to get resigned in life. If we remind ourselves that it just appears that way BUT is actually is not the truth, it is a step in the right direction for finding the change we seek.  Life is also unpredictable. If we can accept that as part of the beauty in life then we can create the ability to embrace what ever comes along, even if it is painful.  Life will bring many challenges, such as the loss of someone we love, and it is truly challenging to embrace “what is so” when we are suffering. Yet, if we start cultivating acceptance in our lives right now, we will cope with future crises in an empowered way finding the positivity in the situation. It really is a powerfully effective way to live. Begin today to just BE with what is so. Notice how life is different and notice how you respond to undesirable things as they show up and how insignificant and manageable they become. You will be amazed!  WRITTEN BY: STERLING MIRE   

           

                  Knowing the difference makes ALL the difference.

“Some of our greatest successes come from unconditional acceptance of all aspects of life.” ~Sterling Mire

My clients often ask me, “How can I possibly accept something if I don’t like or agree with it?” My answer is simple: Avoid resistance. I’ll explain. The reason why avoiding resistance is the solution to the problem is because what we resist will persist. If we resist what is so in this particular moment we will be giving energy to that which we would like to change. We feed the beast. Stop feeding the beast and that beast will disappear.

I am a fan of Eckhart Tolle. In his bestselling book, “The Power of Now”, he describes acceptance as this. Imagine you fell into quicksand. Your first instinct is to resist it by flailing your arms wildly to get out. The only thing you achieve by resisting is frustration, panic and exhaustion so you end up sinking. If you just accept what is so, “Ok, I just fell into quicksand. I accept that. It is what is so.”, this frees you up to begin to create a way out – and you do! Acceptance is not agreement. I must stress this. Accepting is acknowledging and allowing something to just be. Once we have done just that, then we can began to move into a solution driven direction with ease. Answers to our questions are free to come to us – physically and mentally. We are an open channel for guidance.

Life is fluid. It can occur as if what is happening to us in the moment is permanent. We are stuck and we begin to get resigned in life. If we remind ourselves that it just appears that way BUT is actually is not the truth, it is a step in the right direction for finding the change we seek.

Life is also unpredictable. If we can accept that as part of the beauty in life then we can create the ability to embrace what ever comes along, even if it is painful.

Life will bring many challenges, such as the loss of someone we love, and it is truly challenging to embrace “what is so” when we are suffering. Yet, if we start cultivating acceptance in our lives right now, we will cope with future crises in an empowered way finding the positivity in the situation. It really is a powerfully effective way to live. Begin today to just BE with what is so. Notice how life is different and notice how you respond to undesirable things as they show up and how insignificant and manageable they become. You will be amazed!

WRITTEN BY: STERLING MIRE

 

Embracing Differences Makes a Difference

Written by: Sterling Mire

Accepting how people are different from ourselves can benefit us and heal the world as a whole more than we realize.

We are all unique. We’ve been raised by different people, with different siblings and friends, sometimes even in different countries with different cultures and within different generations. Yet, we all have the same basic wants and needs. These differences don’t have to result in disconnect or friction in our experiences of one another.

Each of us is the result of a completely individual miraculous design. We all have different talents, skills, points of view, ideas, perceptions and experiences to share with the world creating a contribution unique unto us and providing something different from others contributions. Human beings want the same things in life yet may go about it differently. We all want love, security, acceptance, and to make a difference in the world we live in. We are all moving in the same direction yet coming from and going about it in different ways.

We are here to learn from our choices and the consequences of making those choices unconsciously or consciously. Granting each other grace, forgiveness, love and support along our journeys in life help us to grow for the betterment of the world. Having a level of compassion when interacting with others helps others to grow in a way that serves the planet in a constructive versus destructive way.

No one likes to be criticized or ostracized by others. When we give up judging or criticizing others taking into account that we don’t know what it is to live their lives or what they may be challenged with at that moment not only helps others but helps ourselves too by creating space for positive growth. Accepting differences allows us to unite with one another, forge a bond and gives access to cooperation towards the fulfillment of peace, love and happiness.

Sometimes people can frustrate us especially when it is someone we are close to and care about. Maybe we see them being self-sabotaging or being destructive and suffering needlessly. If we can accept that what is happening is part of their learning process, their journey, individual to their independent life path we actually create room for transforming the situation for the better versus resisting and fighting the situation by making it wrong. What also helps is stepping outside of our own world and moving into others lives bringing with us the intention to understand and accept “what is” so we create a space for transformation.

Ultimately, we are all experiencing the result of the choices we’ve made in life. In other words, the consequences of what we consciously or unconsciously choose give way to the experiences we have. All human beings truly want is to feel good, even if they are not sure how to do that. Choices and consequences are great guides to helping us learn our way. Everyone learns differently and in different time frames. Respecting those differences help move the human race as a whole to a place of peace, love, fulfillment, and unity.


 

 

What Did I Do?

taking things personally article.jpg

By Sterling Mire

Many times what people say or do to us has nothing to do with us at all.

Have you ever had the experience where what someone does or says doesn’t seem to jibe with what is actually going on? Yet, we take their behavior personally and make it mean something disempowering about us leaving us confused, hurt and disappointed. It’s helpful to remember: people are more connected to their past experiences versus the experiences they would like to have in their future.  That past can be what just happened 5 minutes prior or as far back as childhood. Taking things personally without taking a moment to think about where they could be coming from takes us off path.

We also have to be responsible for what we do and say. Could what we said or did provoke a particular response? If our intentions are benign but misunderstood, then we can apologize and clarify what we mean to the other person. If they refuse to forgive and hear the value in what we are trying to convey then we can walk away feeling satisfied with the responsibility and the action we took to remedy the situation. We can also see that there is something that person is personally dealing with that may have absolutely nothing to do with us but what they are struggling with in their own life. Be compassionate and loving and move on. We are all dealing with something in life. We are all evolving and being given the opportunity to grow and growth comes from our relationships. If this is a relationship that we are committed to, then we take move on by taking responsibility of our communications and distinguish if there is anything else we can do to help. Sometimes just being clear in our communications is all there is for us to do. We need to just give the other person some space to be with the situation and gain the understanding and clarity within themselves.

When you shift your attention to the bigger picture you may then notice that there was nothing you did that was inappropriate and can choose to not take it personally leaving you free of feeling attacked or blaming yourself for something that didn’t have anything to do with you. It’s up to you to retain your self-worth while knowing you are taking responsibility for your words and actions. This is the best way to live an empowered and satisfying life!

 

 

Reclaiming Your Power With Forgiveness

Have you ever been so wounded by someone that your emotions run deep and steady and letting go and moving on from the situation seems impossible? Transforming the situation and moving on is the only true answer if success, health and happiness is what you seek in life. But the question remains. Why?

Why forgive someone when they have acted so thoughtless, rude, inconsiderate, selfish, mean, cruel, and even evil? Answer: It keeps us stuck in our past.

When we truly forgive someone we are saying, “I want to move on in my life to a much better future than my past experiences. I want to reclaim my power and by holding on to negative feelings I am not only disconnected from the source of all creativity, but I am creating more of what I don’t want in my life by holding on to the negative emotions. Those negative energies being produced by my thoughts are attracting more of what I do not want in my life.”

Negative energy blocks us from accessing what we truly want in life: peace, happiness, total fulfillment and our dreams being realized. When we honestly choose forgiveness, we choose compassion and love and by giving that love and compassion to the person, we free ourselves. We return to our authentic self and re-connect to the universe (which is love). We align to our power that is connected to the power of the limitless universe which creates all things authentic and life-giving. We make a connection with the great Creator who co-creates with us everything in our world that is desirable and good. That is, if we are being our authentic self which is LOVE. Love is the energy that births forgiveness, acceptance, compassion, and peace.

Isn’t life sweeter when we feel light, we experience inspiration, we feel loving and abundant? We can only truly, authentically, connect with those powerful energies that produce miracles by forgiving. That is why forgiveness is key.

Now, instead of just thinking about it and moving on from here with life’s distractions, start drawing up a list of people who need that forgiveness from you. Set them free, maybe even more importantly, set yourself free.  

Contributing to the Bigger Picture - Breakdown to Breakthrough

Written by: Sterling Mire

Being of service to others allows us to step outside of our own struggles which can bring answers and pathways to overcome challenges in our own life.

When things aren’t going the way we’d like them to our first instinct is to run and hide, preferably to the nearest dark hole we can find and escape. Sometimes we choose to obsessively think about the problems that face us until we can’t see straight. Yes, there are times when we need to get off the merry-go-round of life and just stop to catch our breath, clear the air, and deal with issues at hand. Other times our best course of action is to be of service to others. Giving ourselves to others not only helps us to gain distance from our own problems but allows us to transform others lives for the better. This creates empowerment and confidence within our world which contributes to finding solutions to our own conflicts. There are two basic human needs being fulfilled: making a difference in the world and being accepted. As a bonus, we also create a connection and bond with others that allows us to feel stronger and more powerful in life.

Helping others creates evidence that we are one and not alone in our quest for support and enlightenment. Even in our darkest hours we can still
contribute to someone else’s struggles and not only make the difference for others but for ourselves as well. It’s a win-win situation and we get to transform who we know ourselves to be.

Make an effort next time you find yourself in a breakdown and fully give of yourself to someone else in need. Notice what happens, what opens up. Notice how your view and perception of life is altered and how you begin to move in a much better direction in your own life.

“We rise by lifting others.”


 

AVOID…AVOID…AVOID…

When we summon up the courage that lives within us and confront the things we want to avoid we then have access to breakthroughs and growth that otherwise would have been impossible.

We’ve all had the experience of taking on something we dread only to discover a sense of accomplishment and empowerment on the other side of completion. We uncover the confidence and strength that was lying dormant within us. We awaken our true spirit and part of the reason we are here. It’s a wonderful opportunity to learn that what we fear is actually nothing to fear at all. Instead we feel free, enlivened and renewed.

If we chose to put something off or avoid it because it scares us or causes us to feel stopped inside it may be because we think that it will cause something to change that we are not ready to experience. This is a false illusion and the way we know this is by the obstacles in life that show up when we choose avoidance. We are off-track but unclear as to why. The fear that stops us is why. The acronym for fear is False Experience Appearing Real. We actually feel lighter and relieved when we complete something we didn’t want to. Alternatively, if we choose to remain in our comfort zone we will take ourselves off our synchronistic path connected to the source of all creation and our lives won’t work as we intend or desire.

In this moment, there is at least one thing we have in our lives that is currently left undone. Making that task top priority and completing before all else (or as soon as possible) will liberate us, invigorate us, and re-create who we identify ourselves to be. We will unleash incredible energy within our lives that will fuel us for our future with confidence!

Author: Sterling Mire

Time Out For YOU!

Sometimes we just need time to ourselves to regain a balanced sense of ourselves before continuing on our journey called life.

Most of us feel a little imbalanced from time to time. Times of high stress, living in the big city, can make us feel like we are out of whack. We take care so many people, places, things, work and general life obligations we forget about taking care of ourselves. We’ve been taught taking time out is a luxury versus a necessity although science has proven that if we take more time out to just be we would not only be more productive and effective in life but less stressed. We have to draw a line and say “enough is enough”, stop the merry-go-round of life and get off for a while to reflect, let go, rediscover ourselves, and revive ourselves for our future.

I have found a good way of getting in touch with what I truly need at the moment is I imagine having a magic genie in a bottle and that genie asks, “If you could do or be anywhere on this day what or where would it be?”. Maybe the answer that shows up  is laying on the sands of a Caribbean beach, receiving a massage, taking a hike in nature, unplugging for the day and reading a book in a quiet and beautiful place, driving to a place you’ve yet to discover. Let’s say if the answer is the Caribbean but you are living in Los Angeles and you only have a day to yourself then take yourself to the Pacific ocean, perhaps to a stretch of beach you haven’t been to before. If a full-body massage doesn’t fit your budget how about an affordable foot spa or the local nail salon where they offer chair massages? The point is to expand yourself and get in touch with what is missing in your life right now. Balance is key to optimal health.

Ever visited Europe, such as Italy, or any other exotic destination? Have you noticed people seem less stressed? It’s because they are. They work to live, not live to work. Even if you live in the U.S.A. you can still adopt a more European life-style right here, right now.  Your happiness, health, quality of living and productivity depends on it! Create a consistency to taking time out for yourself. Imagine taking 1 very special day a week to yourself or a 2-3 day weekend vacation once a month. You can do it on a budget if need be. Out of 31 days in the month, taking 3-5 days for just yourself is very little and will not negatively alter taking care of business on the other days.

The truth is, taking care of ourselves is not actually a luxury, it is a necessity especially if we want to be our best for our work, our lives and others. I hope you’ve gained perspective from my share. Start now. Plan time in your schedule for yourself as soon as possible. If you are crazy busy at the moment, even more reason to do it now versus later.

Questions? Call for a free consultation.

 

The Year of New Beginnings!

 A journey of change, new beginnings, independence and becoming who you really are!   Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.  James Baldwin  No matter how familiar things may seem, you are on an entirely different road now. The 1 year is the first year of a brand new nine-year cycle of your life. It urges you to create a more satisfying existence by recognizing the  new  potential that is developing. It is a time of change and new beginnings. Last year brought an entire nine-year era of your life to an end and was probably emotional and confusing. However, those experiences were necessary so that this year's new beginnings can occur. The past is over, but you will need to release the feelings and beliefs that are still anchoring you to it. Then, instead of being shocked or confused by this year's changes, you will more easily understand their purpose.  This is a year of new interests, experiences, goals, and understandings: about life, about you, where you have been, where you are now, and where you would like to be. And, because so much drastic change is required, you will also be learning the meaning of  courage . You will gain self awareness this year. You will learn about individuality, and the vital changes that must take place within  you if you are to attain what you need. You will be learning about independence, leadership, and originality, and you will need great faith in yourself in order to take appropriate action. You will encounter situations involving your deepest feelings, your unique mind and talent, and your need for greater freedom.  You will be learning to adapt to the changes taking place inside you and around you, while your ability to lead yourself and others gets tested. Your progress will be helped along by new opportunities and understandings. Just remember that 1 is also the number of individuality, and that no one can define freedom for another without limiting freedom.  Accept the need for real and significant  change . Develop a realistic sense of your own self-worth. Listen to and follow your feelings. What you do this year will set the course for the next nine years. This should provide all the incentive you need to make your decisions carefully and realistically. And by accepting the reality of your past, you will become more aware of who you really are. If you think you already know your true identity, be prepared for some astonishing new truths to emerge.  You may start to doubt beliefs and attitudes you held dear, as you realize they are no longer appropriate to current circumstances. You may start to feel out of place around people with whom you have always felt comfortable, and may question their continuing role in your life. Doubts may arise as to how you can be free when responsibilities or circumstances seem to stand in your way. Feel every feeling that arises around such issues. At some point, you will instinctively know that it's time to move in a completely  different  direction, even if it means doing so alone.  Never forget that this year you are learning to be independent. Attaining independence often brings feelings of isolation and loneliness. Those you thought you could count on may become unavailable to you. Attaining independence  always  produces guilt which must be seen for the destructive force it is, otherwise you will become stuck in a painful rut of resentment, confusion, and blame.  Welcome new activities. Change monotonous routines. Without change -  drastic change  - you may find yourself being buffeted around with no Will of your own for a long time to come. The 1 year cycle gives you the opportunity to fix your bearings and choose the direction you want to take. It enables your Will to emerge as the only alternative to guilt and fear. Problems will arise for as long as you  resist  change. Stay flexible. Your firmest goals may be diverted into unexpected new directions.  The only thing you can reliably expect this year  is  change. One change will lead to another, and then another, transporting you physically, emotionally, and/or spiritually far from where you thought you would be. Consider what is best for  you , and then go ahead in that direction. Start afresh. Decide which direction you want your  long term  future to take and, even if it means starting small, take decisive steps toward these goals.  Your various relationships are vitally important. So much love and happiness can be experienced there. However,  you cannot  depend  on anyone else for your happiness or success. Rely only on you . Try to surround yourself with realistic, freethinking people who do not judge and criticize your every move. Have the same consideration for them.  Although the emphasis is on  you  this year, guilt will tell you that you are wrong to focus so keenly on yourself and that ego is the problem. It is not. The solution is to  stop judging yourself . This will enable you to balance your ego between overblown or deflated.  You may have to break free from people who habitually disapprove of you or your plans, or those who want to control you. Know what you want and believe in yourself. If your abilities are lacking in some way, take the time to  learn  what is necessary to fulfill your intentions.  As you strive toward freedom, you will notice that others become less dependent or critical. The more self-accepting you are, the happier everyone will be. Confidence is not an 'act' that hides your fear or ignorance. It is a natural feeling that comes from your acceptance of reality. Once you accept the reality of your desires and potentials, and what you have to do to fulfill them, you will know that although you don't know all the answers yet, they will come to you because you have a genuine intent to learn, and an openness   which can utilize new information. Confidence is the ability to accept change as it occurs, and it  will  occur this year.  Always be aware of what is going on locally and globally, and plan accordingly. Begin something substantial. Failure to start a new project, activity, job, hobby, or even a new attitude, will result in a directionless frame of mind which will keep you tied to undesirable people, places, and circumstances. At least, start a new phase of an existing situation. If you do not make changes where they are needed, they will be made for you.  Without change, we struggle to hold on to fruitless situations. As 1 is the number of independence, you will be aware of your various dependencies this year. Imagine the freedom you would enjoy without them. These may include a dependence on others, a need to keep others dependent on you; a need for approval; on substances such as food, tobacco, alcohol, drugs; or distractions such as 'entertainment', computers, or extravagance. You may be disguising your addictions so that they are unrecognizable, even to yourself. The key is to trace the emotional  cause  of why you need certain things so badly.  It could take years for you to achieve certain results, but projects or ideas started three years ago can materialize as accomplishments  this year , leaving you pleasantly astonished as loose ends from the previous nine-year cycle are finally tied up. Understand the need for time to pass between one experience and the next, and you will enjoy many pleasant surprises this year. Aim high, believe in your goals, and never give up the pioneering spirit that is essential in the 1 Year Cycle. Remember that learning from mistakes is how  experience  is gained.  Work through your fears instead of denying them and you will be able to explore humanity's journey with an open mind and promote your own desires and interests along the way. Much of what occurs this year will be reflected back to you through events taking place elsewhere. Once you make that connection, you will be able to see exactly where you and your talents fit in. This year, you will learn that life is not meant to be a struggle but a continuous free-flowing journey of energy that moves, shifts, vibrates, spirals, and evolves through cycles of learning.

A journey of change,
new beginnings, independence
and becoming who you really are!

Not everything that is faced can be changed,
but nothing can be changed until it is faced.

James Baldwin

No matter how familiar things may seem, you are on an entirely different road now. The 1 year is the first year of a brand new nine-year cycle of your life. It urges you to create a more satisfying existence by recognizing the new potential that is developing. It is a time of change and new beginnings. Last year brought an entire nine-year era of your life to an end and was probably emotional and confusing. However, those experiences were necessary so that this year's new beginnings can occur. The past is over, but you will need to release the feelings and beliefs that are still anchoring you to it. Then, instead of being shocked or confused by this year's changes, you will more easily understand their purpose.

This is a year of new interests, experiences, goals, and understandings: about life, about you, where you have been, where you are now, and where you would like to be. And, because so much drastic change is required, you will also be learning the meaning of courage. You will gain self awareness this year. You will learn about individuality, and the vital changes that must take placewithin you if you are to attain what you need. You will be learning about independence, leadership, and originality, and you will need great faith in yourself in order to take appropriate action. You will encounter situations involving your deepest feelings, your unique mind and talent, and your need for greater freedom.

You will be learning to adapt to the changes taking place inside you and around you, while your ability to lead yourself and others gets tested. Your progress will be helped along by new opportunities and understandings. Just remember that 1 is also the number of individuality, and that no one can define freedom for another without limiting freedom.

Accept the need for real and significant change. Develop a realistic sense of your own self-worth. Listen to and follow your feelings. What you do this year will set the course for the next nine years. This should provide all the incentive you need to make your decisions carefully and realistically. And by accepting the reality of your past, you will become more aware of who you really are. If you think you already know your true identity, be prepared for some astonishing new truths to emerge.

You may start to doubt beliefs and attitudes you held dear, as you realize they are no longer appropriate to current circumstances. You may start to feel out of place around people with whom you have always felt comfortable, and may question their continuing role in your life. Doubts may arise as to how you can be free when responsibilities or circumstances seem to stand in your way. Feel every feeling that arises around such issues. At some point, you will instinctively know that it's time to move in a completely different direction, even if it means doing so alone.

Never forget that this year you are learning to be independent. Attaining independence often brings feelings of isolation and loneliness. Those you thought you could count on may become unavailable to you. Attaining independence always produces guilt which must be seen for the destructive force it is, otherwise you will become stuck in a painful rut of resentment, confusion, and blame.

Welcome new activities. Change monotonous routines. Without change - drastic change - you may find yourself being buffeted around with no Will of your own for a long time to come. The 1 year cycle gives you the opportunity to fix your bearings and choose the direction you want to take. It enables your Will to emerge as the only alternative to guilt and fear. Problems will arise for as long as you resist change. Stay flexible. Your firmest goals may be diverted into unexpected new directions.

The only thing you can reliably expect this year is change. One change will lead to another, and then another, transporting you physically, emotionally, and/or spiritually far from where you thought you would be. Consider what is best for you, and then go ahead in that direction. Start afresh. Decide which direction you want your long term future to take and, even if it means starting small, take decisive steps toward these goals.

Your various relationships are vitally important. So much love and happiness can be experienced there. However,  you cannot depend on anyone else for your happiness or success. Rely only onyou. Try to surround yourself with realistic, freethinking people who do not judge and criticize your every move. Have the same consideration for them.

Although the emphasis is on you this year, guilt will tell you that you are wrong to focus so keenly on yourself and that ego is the problem. It is not. The solution is to stop judging yourself. This will enable you to balance your ego between overblown or deflated.

You may have to break free from people who habitually disapprove of you or your plans, or those who want to control you. Know what you want and believe in yourself. If your abilities are lacking in some way, take the time to learn what is necessary to fulfill your intentions.

As you strive toward freedom, you will notice that others become less dependent or critical. The more self-accepting you are, the happier everyone will be. Confidence is not an 'act' that hides your fear or ignorance. It is a natural feeling that comes from your acceptance of reality. Once you accept the reality of your desires and potentials, and what you have to do to fulfill them, you will know that although you don't know all the answers yet, they will come to you because you have a genuine intent to learn, and an openness which can utilize new information. Confidence is the ability to accept change as it occurs, and it will occur this year.

Always be aware of what is going on locally and globally, and plan accordingly. Begin something substantial. Failure to start a new project, activity, job, hobby, or even a new attitude, will result in a directionless frame of mind which will keep you tied to undesirable people, places, and circumstances. At least, start a new phase of an existing situation. If you do not make changes where they are needed, they will be made for you.

Without change, we struggle to hold on to fruitless situations. As 1 is the number of independence, you will be aware of your various dependencies this year. Imagine the freedom you would enjoy without them. These may include a dependence on others, a need to keep others dependent on you; a need for approval; on substances such as food, tobacco, alcohol, drugs; or distractions such as 'entertainment', computers, or extravagance. You may be disguising your addictions so that they are unrecognizable, even to yourself. The key is to trace the emotional cause of why you need certain things so badly.

It could take years for you to achieve certain results, but projects or ideas started three years ago can materialize as accomplishments this year, leaving you pleasantly astonished as loose ends from the previous nine-year cycle are finally tied up. Understand the need for time to pass between one experience and the next, and you will enjoy many pleasant surprises this year. Aim high, believe in your goals, and never give up the pioneering spirit that is essential in the 1 Year Cycle. Remember that learning from mistakes is how experience is gained.

Work through your fears instead of denying them and you will be able to explore humanity's journey with an open mind and promote your own desires and interests along the way. Much of what occurs this year will be reflected back to you through events taking place elsewhere. Once you make that connection, you will be able to see exactly where you and your talents fit in. This year, you will learn that life is not meant to be a struggle but a continuous free-flowing journey of energy that moves, shifts, vibrates, spirals, and evolves through cycles of learning.

The Price of Freedom - 25 Ways to Let Go and Reclaim Your Power!

   “If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah     One of my favorite authors, Eckhart Tolle, believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Perhaps this explains why we often hold onto our pain far beyond its ability to serve us.    We get stuck in the past. We tend to relive past mistakes over and over again in our head instead of completing them and letting them go. This causes us to experience feelings of shame, frustration and guilt and we allow those emotions to shape our actions in the present. We hold on to frustration and worry about the future, as if the act of obsessing somehow gives us power over our fears.   It is actually the opposite. We hold stress in our minds and bodies, potentially creating serious health issues, and accept that state of tension as the norm.    There will never be a time when life is simple. There will always be time to practice accepting that. Every moment is a chance to let go and feel peaceful. Here are some ways to get started:        How To Let Go Of Upsets Within Your Life      1. Learn a new skill   . Instead of dwelling on the skills you never mastered.     2. Become complete with the situation.    Either accept there is nothing you can do about the circumstance and let it go or recognize that there is and do it. Maybe an apology and asking for forgiveness is due. You’d be surprised how powerful something as simple as being responsible and cleaning up life’s messes can be  .     3. Cry it out.    According to Dr. William Frey II, PH.D. biochemist at the Ramsey Medical Center in Minneapolis, crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress.     4.     Channel your discontent into an immediate positive action.  Make some calls about new job opportunities, or walk to the community center to volunteer.     5. Use meditation or yoga to bring you into the present moment   . A great exercise is the “Being Present” exercise I give to my clients. Try this while showering, driving, or doing the dishes. Simply take in all that you are perceiving without judgments, opinions, stories. Notice something, observe it fully and then move on to something else. Great stress buster and it also allows you to be related to reality powerfully and make better choices in life.     6.     Make a list of your accomplishments, even the small ones, and add to it daily.  You’ll have to let go of a little discontentment to make space for this self-satisfaction. Post this somewhere where you will see it often. Bathroom mirror. Front door to your bedroom or home and take it in before you leave.     7.     Visualize a box in your head labeled “Expectations.”  Whenever you start dwelling on how things  should be  or  should have been , mentally shelve the thoughts in this box.     8.     Engage in a physical activity.  Exercise decreases stress hormones and increases endorphins, chemicals that improve your state of mind.     9. Focus all your energy on something you can control. I   nstead of dwelling on things you can’t, make a difference in someone else’s world. Clean up clutter in the home. Wash the car inside and out. Make fun plans just for yourself or with a friend.     10. Express your feelings through a creative outlet, like blogging or painting.    Add this to your to-do list and cross it off when you’re done. This will be a visual reminder that you have actively chosen to release these feelings.        Let go of Anger and Bitterness      11. Feel it fully.    If you stifle your feelings, they may leak out and affect everyone around you—not just the person who inspired your anger. Before you can let go of any emotion, you have to feel it fully and express it safely.     12. Give yourself a rant window.    Let yourself vent for a day before confronting the person who troubled you. This may diffuse the hostility and give you time to plan a rational confrontation.     13.     Remind yourself that anger hurts you   more than the person who upset you . Visualize it melting away as an act of kindness to yourself.     14.     If possible, express your anger to the person who offended you.  Communicating how you feel is a powerful solution for moving on if done responsibly. Express yourself intelligently with calm, thoughtful and clear articulate words. Write it out first and practice. Give the other person an opportunity to apologize. Refrain from just spewing all over someone. This only causes them to be defensive as they will feel attacked and you will feel like a mess coming out of an emotional hurricane. Keep in mind that you can’t control how the other responds; you can only control how clearly and kindly you express yourself.     15.     Take responsibility.  Many times when you are upset, you focus on what someone else did that was wrong, which essentially gives away your power. When you focus on what  you  could have done better, you often feel empowered and less bitter.     16. Put yourself in the offender’s shoes.    We all make mistakes, and odds are you could have easily slipped up just like your husband, father, or friend did. Compassion dissolves anger.     17.     Remind yourself these are your only three options:  remove yourself from the situation, change it or accept it. These acts create happiness; holding onto bitterness never does.        Let Go Of Past Relationships      18. Identify what the experience taught you    to help develop a sense of closure.     19. Remember both the good and the bad.    Even if it appears this way now, the past was not perfect. Acknowledging this may minimize your sense of loss. As Laura Oliver says, “It’s easier to let go of a human than a hero.”     20. Un-romanticize the way you view love.    Of course you’ll feel devastated if you believe you lost your soul mate. If you think you can find a love that amazing or better again, it will be easier to move on.     21. Visualize an empowered single you   —the person you were before meeting your last love. That person was pretty awesome, and now you have the chance to be him or her again.     22. Create a space that reflects your present reality.    Take down his pictures; delete her emails from your saved folder.     23. Reward yourself for small acts of acceptance.    Get a facial after you delete his number from your phone, or head out with friends after putting all her things in a box.     24. Hang this statement somewhere you can see it.    “Loving myself means letting go.”     25. Replace your emotional thoughts with facts.    When you think, “I’ll never feel loved again!” don’t resist that feeling. Instead, move on to another thought, like “Hey, I learned a new song for karaoke tonight.”    These 25 steps will allow you to take back and experience your personal freedom and power again putting you on the path you desire. The outcomes that follow is the stuff dreams are made of!

“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah

One of my favorite authors, Eckhart Tolle, believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Perhaps this explains why we often hold onto our pain far beyond its ability to serve us.

We get stuck in the past. We tend to relive past mistakes over and over again in our head instead of completing them and letting them go. This causes us to experience feelings of shame, frustration and guilt and we allow those emotions to shape our actions in the present. We hold on to frustration and worry about the future, as if the act of obsessing somehow gives us power over our fears. It is actually the opposite. We hold stress in our minds and bodies, potentially creating serious health issues, and accept that state of tension as the norm.

There will never be a time when life is simple. There will always be time to practice accepting that. Every moment is a chance to let go and feel peaceful. Here are some ways to get started:

 

How To Let Go Of Upsets Within Your Life

1. Learn a new skill. Instead of dwelling on the skills you never mastered.

2. Become complete with the situation. Either accept there is nothing you can do about the circumstance and let it go or recognize that there is and do it. Maybe an apology and asking for forgiveness is due. You’d be surprised how powerful something as simple as being responsible and cleaning up life’s messes can be.

3. Cry it out. According to Dr. William Frey II, PH.D. biochemist at the Ramsey Medical Center in Minneapolis, crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress.

4. Channel your discontent into an immediate positive action. Make some calls about new job opportunities, or walk to the community center to volunteer.

5. Use meditation or yoga to bring you into the present moment. A great exercise is the “Being Present” exercise I give to my clients. Try this while showering, driving, or doing the dishes. Simply take in all that you are perceiving without judgments, opinions, stories. Notice something, observe it fully and then move on to something else. Great stress buster and it also allows you to be related to reality powerfully and make better choices in life.

6. Make a list of your accomplishments, even the small ones, and add to it daily. You’ll have to let go of a little discontentment to make space for this self-satisfaction. Post this somewhere where you will see it often. Bathroom mirror. Front door to your bedroom or home and take it in before you leave.

7. Visualize a box in your head labeled “Expectations.” Whenever you start dwelling on how things should be or should have been, mentally shelve the thoughts in this box.

8. Engage in a physical activity. Exercise decreases stress hormones and increases endorphins, chemicals that improve your state of mind.

9. Focus all your energy on something you can control. Instead of dwelling on things you can’t, make a difference in someone else’s world. Clean up clutter in the home. Wash the car inside and out. Make fun plans just for yourself or with a friend.

10. Express your feelings through a creative outlet, like blogging or painting. Add this to your to-do list and cross it off when you’re done. This will be a visual reminder that you have actively chosen to release these feelings.

 

Let go of Anger and Bitterness

11. Feel it fully. If you stifle your feelings, they may leak out and affect everyone around you—not just the person who inspired your anger. Before you can let go of any emotion, you have to feel it fully and express it safely.

12. Give yourself a rant window. Let yourself vent for a day before confronting the person who troubled you. This may diffuse the hostility and give you time to plan a rational confrontation.

13. Remind yourself that anger hurts you more than the person who upset you. Visualize it melting away as an act of kindness to yourself.

14. If possible, express your anger to the person who offended you. Communicating how you feel is a powerful solution for moving on if done responsibly. Express yourself intelligently with calm, thoughtful and clear articulate words. Write it out first and practice. Give the other person an opportunity to apologize. Refrain from just spewing all over someone. This only causes them to be defensive as they will feel attacked and you will feel like a mess coming out of an emotional hurricane. Keep in mind that you can’t control how the other responds; you can only control how clearly and kindly you express yourself.

15. Take responsibility. Many times when you are upset, you focus on what someone else did that was wrong, which essentially gives away your power. When you focus on what you could have done better, you often feel empowered and less bitter.

16. Put yourself in the offender’s shoes. We all make mistakes, and odds are you could have easily slipped up just like your husband, father, or friend did. Compassion dissolves anger.

17. Remind yourself these are your only three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it or accept it. These acts create happiness; holding onto bitterness never does.

 

Let Go Of Past Relationships

18. Identify what the experience taught you to help develop a sense of closure.

19. Remember both the good and the bad. Even if it appears this way now, the past was not perfect. Acknowledging this may minimize your sense of loss. As Laura Oliver says, “It’s easier to let go of a human than a hero.”

20. Un-romanticize the way you view love. Of course you’ll feel devastated if you believe you lost your soul mate. If you think you can find a love that amazing or better again, it will be easier to move on.

21. Visualize an empowered single you—the person you were before meeting your last love. That person was pretty awesome, and now you have the chance to be him or her again.

22. Create a space that reflects your present reality. Take down his pictures; delete her emails from your saved folder.

23. Reward yourself for small acts of acceptance. Get a facial after you delete his number from your phone, or head out with friends after putting all her things in a box.

24. Hang this statement somewhere you can see it. “Loving myself means letting go.”

25. Replace your emotional thoughts with facts. When you think, “I’ll never feel loved again!” don’t resist that feeling. Instead, move on to another thought, like “Hey, I learned a new song for karaoke tonight.”

These 25 steps will allow you to take back and experience your personal freedom and power again putting you on the path you desire. The outcomes that follow is the stuff dreams are made of!

Welcome to Your Life in the Year 2017!

A Year of New Beginnings....

The Numerology of 2017 shows that the year 2017 will bring new beginnings and much activity. The pioneering spirit makes way for new inventions, new discoveries, or new creations. Its energy will bring originality and new ideas. New leaders (committees, chairpersons, etc.), new ideas, or new additions to things done for the surrounding area. Its wide implications could include cities, towns, counties, etc.

Events and opportunities emphasise BEGINNINGS, CHANGE AND PROGRESS, such as:

  • Development of new ideas.
  • Expanding existing interests.
  • Increasing status and/or recognition.
  • Meeting new friends or business associates.
  • Turning avocation into vocation.

Sometimes, one strong change triggers a sequence of events which forces substantial alterations in almost every facet of the life. In brief, individuality, ambition, initiative, new directions, or adding something new to established enterprises.

Ways to Work It:

  • Leadership – that means you and me. People are going to feel embolden to blaze new trails, take the bull by the horns, pioneer in some highly unique and individualized fashion. Don’t be afraid to follow your nose when an idea or ideas “pop” into your head: -)
  • Individulization – yep, we’re all going to start honoring who and what we are as individuals and most likely, acting upon those facets of ourselves. We will learn this year to enjoy our uniqueness instead of being with the “herd” mentality. 2017 it is a year of moving off into your own direction, never mind what others are doing: -)
  • Self-starter – a lot of things from the left-over 9 year (2016) may not have gotten attended to like you might have wanted. Maybe your dreams, your move, your change of job had to wait and your particular needs were put on the back burner. No more. Not in this year. This is the year to self start, to do things you’ve been wanting to do, but just haven’t gotten out of the gate to do ’em. Now, you will have that opportunity.
  • Letting your own star shine – In 2017 is time to quit hiding your light under a bushel basket, as the saying goes. It’s time to embrace who and what you are, your skills, your talents, or your developing skills and talents. This is the year to go learn, get educated, refine your skills and talents. The important thing is to begin the process.
  • Confidence in yourself – is going to start welling up from the deepest parts of all of us. The confidence to believe in ourselves, to move on that knowledge and begin to spread our wings so that we can fly where we want to go.
  • Ideas – thousands of ’em! – 2017 is a year of ideas, new thought, new perspective or perhaps looking at the same old thing in a new and provocative or fascinating way. Everything is up for change in a 1 year! You thought you had chaos in your life last year? Huh. Wait. This is the year of getting off the starting blocks and beginning to run toward your dream, your vision or goal. Now, the shackles, the delays, are behind us. You have nothing but room to run now–so start planning how you are going to get there. Be prudent, be organized and realistic about this. But, as the ad quotes,: “Just do it!”

Numerology and astrology can be used to study, weigh and reflect upon the past yet it is the now that is ever our concern as the key point between the past and the future and so we return to 2017 as the number on our calendars and hopefully make wise and practical use of the guidance it can offer to us on both individual and collective levels.

For more information about how the energies of 2017 are going to affect you and your life personally, book a session today for a play-by-play of each month in the year of 2017. 

 Holiday Thriving versus Surviving! 

 

We all need a guide.  The first thing is to really be ready to be related with the people that you’re there with, and out to cause something extraordinary with people.  We can have all the dinners, we can have all the decorations, and gift-giving and receiving but really what’s at the heart of a great holiday, no matter how great the food was, how beautiful the decorations were, what makes or breaks a holiday is the relationships we have with people and whether we enjoy the people or not.  So what we really want to focus on is how to really have extraordinary relationships with the people we’re with, whoever we’re spending the holidays with. You may ask yourself, “How do you do that when you don’t even want to go?”

I had that experience myself once at a birthday party.  I was invited someplace, rather obligated to go just because of all the different circumstances, a place I really didn’t want to go.  Here’s what I resolved for myself.  As I was going there, I said, "Okay.  You’re going to have a better time than you think you can have," and then I rang the doorbell and walked in the door with that commitment in place, like really, "Okay," and when I walked in the door, just having committed to have a better time that I thought I could have, and I ended up meeting new people that were instrumental to my future! It was great!

I think every time we go someplace, we have a preconceived notion of how good it’s going to be.  We have a preconceived notion of how enjoyable it’s going to be.  So the first thing would be to just get committed to you’re going have a better time than you think you’re going have, and then walk in the door looking for the opportunity for that.  And if you walk in the door looking for the opportunity to have a better time than you think you’re going have, guess what?  I think you’ll find a lot of ways to do that.

My clients often ask me what to do when someone says something to you that makes you mad but you don’t want to ruin the holiday for everyone?

There are actually three things you could do but there’s only one of them that really works.  One thing you could do is argue, right?  You could.  Somebody says something that makes you mad, and you just want to – you just can hardly stand it.  You just so want to let them know that what they said was wrong. You could come back with your best, best, best answer that really proves how wrong they are, except guess what?  You’ll end up in an argument because then they have to defend themselves and then you have to defend yourself, then they have to defend themselves, and we know where that one goes. So that doesn’t work.  Another thing people often try is to not say anything, just try to grit your teeth and grin and bear it, but you really are holding onto it and you still let it shape you, like whatever they said really does ruin your day because that’s all you’re thinking about, all you’re stewing about, and even though you’re not responding, it’s totally shaping you.  You’re succumbing to it.  That doesn’t work, either, because your day’s still ruined.

There’s a third thing you can do, which is – it sounds simple but it really is profound.  It’s just to let it go by.  Let it go.  Sometimes I imagine being a bullfighter where you just – what you don’t do with a bull, you don’t argue with it, right? Yet you don’t lay down and let it run over you.  Look at matadors. They are masters at just stepping out of the way and letting things go by.  I think sometimes we think we have to deal with everything that people say, but people say things they don’t even mean.  People say things that they didn’t intend to be upsetting, and a lot of it, especially around the holidays – I think this is all the time, but especially around the holidays.  Let some of it go by.  Just let it go by, step out of the way, and then stay right there in the conversation and just committed to what you’re committed to causing in terms of your friendship and your relationship with that person.

Now, if somebody says something that’s really irritating to you and you let it go by, how do you not let that fester? You simply have to relate to it for what it is.  It’s just something they said.

One of the things that always makes something worse is not what they say but what we have what they say mean.  So there’s a difference between what somebody says and then what it means to us.  In other words, the story we make up about what they said or the interpretation we have of what they said and it’s really important to separate those two out.  There’s what they said and then there’s what we have it mean.  And those are two different things.

I’ll give you an example, if somebody said, for instance, "I wouldn’t have set the table this way," Suppose there you are, you’ve got the table set, and your mother-in-law says, "I wouldn’t have set the table this way," Now, that’s what she said.  What somebody could and probably would have that mean is, "She doesn’t respect me, she doesn’t honor that this is my home, she never thinks anything I do is good enough for her son." Right?  On and on and on.  It could be any of those things.  Now, really, though, the statement, "I wouldn’t have set the table this way," is a pretty simple statement that is just a statement about what she would’ve or wouldn’t have done, and if you can keep it for what it is, just a statement, and keep separate everything you had it mean and you’ll notice that all of the upset every bit of the upset is in actually what we have it mean, not what they actually said.

How do you appreciate someone if you’re mad at them?  Why should we appreciate someone if you’re mad at them? Why we choose to appreciate someone even if we’re mad at them is because where if we really look at relationships, when we’re satisfied in a relationship is when we love who we’re being.

We put a lot of focus on how the other person is treating us, but you know what?  Even if someone’s not treating us well, if we love who we’re being, we’re actually pretty satisfied. The opposite is also true, isn’t it?  Which is that if somebody’s being great with us but then we’re pretty cranky with them, then even them being great with us doesn’t make a difference for us because we’re still cranky.

So to really take on, even when you’re, especially when you’re mad at somebody, is to appreciate them and find something to appreciate about them at the very least. it’s really simple.  That them being there gives you an opportunity to be somebody, to be somebody you love being, gives you an opportunity to be generous or it gives you an opportunity to be loving. Even the ones that make you the maddest, those are the ones that give you the biggest opportunity to be somebody really great.

If we really study relationships, one of the things you notice is that the whole point of other people like the opportunity of people, of being with people, is that without them there, we don’t get to be somebody, and the quality of our life comes from who we get to be with people.  So it’s right there, so why appreciate somebody you’re mad at is because you’ll end up being really happy with yourself and therefore even happy with them through your own empowerment about who you are choosing to be within the circumstance.

Last week I had a client say to me, "My husband’s so controlling, how can I have a happy holiday if he tries to control everything?"

There are two things here.  If you know that about your husband, if you know, from holidays from the past, one of the things that really works is to, ahead of holidays, ask him everything that he wants so that you actually know what he wants and he has some – he gets to say what’s important to him before the holidays ever get there so that he already knows you’re committed that he gets what he wants and then at the holiday itself, I kind of always have a theory called ride the horse the way the horse is going. The more you would fight it or the more you would resist, probably the more controlling he’s going to try to be because he’s going to be fighting back then.  If you really just keep looking for it, there’s something that’s important to him, something. People only try to be controlling because there’s something important to them, and if you can just listen for and try to hear what’s really important to him and then make sure he gets it or make sure that he knows that you’re committed that he gets it, then guess what happens?  He starts paying attention to what’s important to you and that you get that as well.

Two things, again.  One is, if at all possible, before the holidays ever happen, sit down, talk about what’s going to be important to each other at the holidays and what’s going be important to your husband so that he knows that he knows in advance that you’re out to make sure he gets a really great holiday that he wants.  Then when the holiday’s happening itself, just keep trying to hear, when he’s being controlling, what is important to him and how can I make sure he knows that I’m committed that he gets that, and then I promise, it really is amazing how much then the other person starts wanting to make sure you get what you want, too.

Here’s another question I’ve been asked, "My mother-in-law doesn’t make me feel welcome.  I don’t want to go.  How do I survive that?"

One of the things there, I think is that I wouldn’t take it personally.  If the mother-in-law’s not making you feel welcome, I bet, I really would bet a lot of money, that the mother-in-law’s concerned about something you don’t even know she’s concerned about.  For instance, it may have nothing to do with you.  Maybe she’s concerned about how her house looks or maybe she’s concerned about how her food is or maybe she’s concerned about how she and her husband are getting along in front of you.  There’s a whole number of things.  Maybe your mother-in-law’s concerned about getting older.  There’s a whole number of things that she could be concerned about, and when people are concerned about something, they often don’t – aren’t able to make another person feel welcome around them. One of the first things I do is to not take it personal and would, again, just have some compassion that probably that person is concerned about something and give they’re concerned about it, they’re not having an easy time being with you.  The more you can just be at ease with them and make it safe for them to be with you, then the more they’ll be able to be at ease with you, and guess what?  Then you’ll have the experience of being welcomed.

I think we often underestimate the power of listening. Listening to people.  When you really listen to people, they get really – they’re just grateful for it.  A lot of times we think what’s important is what we say to other people.  I’ve found that that is very important, what we say is very important and we want to make sure that what we say really is always empowering of others.  On the other side of it, there’s listening to people and really listening to somebody.  I’ve always found people, I know for myself, if somebody really listens to me, I’m always grateful afterward.

Sometimes, especially if somebody’s not making you feel welcome, there’s something that they want to say or there’s something that they’ve got to say that if you could just listen to, they would be grateful that you’re there, and then, again, you’d have the experience of being really welcomed.

No matter what they’re talking about, because sometimes they talk about something that doesn’t seem important or they can be talking about the weather or sometimes they’re upset and their visibly upset.  Whatever is going on right there, if they’re talking about the weather, listen to that. If they’re talking about how the dinner’s going, listen to that.  If they’re talking about something they’re upset about, listen to that.  When I say listen, I really do mean give them your attention so that they know, and maybe even ask them questions, but even if it’s something, they just make a comment about the weather, just acknowledge that you heard them.

People also really appreciate being acknowledged for the “good” that they are. Acknowledging people for their better attributes or way of being in life actually helps them to connect to that side of themselves in the present moment and that paves a way for them to move forward in extraordinary ways allowing you to have an extraordinary and memorable experience and holiday with them.

Happy Holidays!

 

 

happy-holidays-lighting-tree.gif

Your Gift From the Universe: Act Fast! Time is Running Out….

For those of you who have experienced a number of breakdowns, changes and losses this year this is an opportunity to understand what’s going on. Most, if not all of us, need to pay attention to this learning opportunity given to us in this year of 2016. If we choose to not take up on what’s being offered we will be experiencing the same things over and over again until we get it. This means the pain and suffering will also continue. No one wants pain and suffering so let’s hop aboard and receive the lesson we are to learn if we want to evolve and embrace all the truly wonderful things in life that we truly want to experience!

The 9 Year Cycle

- the end of an era -
going back to claim your future

What we call the beginning is often the end.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from.

T.S. Eliot

The 9 year cycle brings you to the end of a complete nine-year cycle of your life. It is a year to complete unfinished business, reach conclusions and tie up loose ends. These actions will help you step into the next nine years of your life without the pressure of unresolved matters of the past pulling you back.

As one door closes another opens, but if you refuse to accept that certain doors really have closed, you will be unable to recognize the new possibilities. It is time to face the absolute reality of your past - and how it is impacting your present, and then decide how you want to create your future. Your reality is not just a matter of where you stand today or where you want to be tomorrow. It is made up of everything that has ever happened to you, everyone you have ever met, anything you have ever done, and any feeling you have ever felt - or denied.

Where you stand today is the result of where you have been. But before you can progress, you must release yourself emotionally, mentally, or physically, from those aspects which no longer serve a purpose and are chaining you to a point in time that no longer exists. It is time to integrate your past with the present, so that the potential of your future can be seen and felt. This is achieved by accepting the past exactly as it was and by feeling everything about it that you have been unable to feel.

A significant transformation is likely this year - alterations and improvements to all areas of your life, even though you may not immediately see the positive merits of certain situations. When the old buried emotion that is weighing you down is released, life suddenly becomes a lighter experience and is more easily understood and enjoyed. If you feel a sense of numbness or stagnation, it is because you are so close to accepting your full reality but are holding the emotions involved in, instead of expressing them out. This magnetic pressure prevents forward movement and draws you to a repeat of the very situations you would prefer to avoid. We have all been conditioned to believe that emotional expression denotes weakness and is “negative”. In fact, emotional expression is our strength, our own self-healing mechanism, our only means of freedom, and the ultimate tool of creativity.

People who refuse to accept the past spend their lives rehashing the same old situations, making the same old mistakes, unable to accept new realities, and dissatisfied with everything. They justify their unsatisfactory existence by blaming others, blaming time, blaming life itself and blaming themselves.  

Some people claim to be apart from or above the journey humanity is taking, all the time resenting that they are too afraid to be a part of it. And, because none of us has truly evolved into Free Will yet, we are all affected by these misunderstandings.

This year, it is not enough to simply have an intellectual understanding of Free Will. You will learn that your feelings are your only means of activating personal freedom. This year of endings and conclusions offers you the chance to free yourself of the erroneous beliefs that have always caused unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and stagnation. The 9 year cycle teaches you how to break free from the past by releasing your grip on it. Without this understanding, you will forever be a victim of something that once happened to you. It is time to heal.

Nothing new happens in the 9 year cycle until the necessary endings take place. The more you strive to begin something new without first releasing the old, the more resistance life will give you. If you do not make an effort to accept your emotional realities, you may find that your history will repeat itself in the next nine years.

 This is a year to go back over your life’s continuous journey and consider everything that happened to you. There will be things you don’t want to remember; memories you may be blocking from your consciousness. These are the very events and situations that need to be addressed. These are the heavy loads that are weighing on you like an anchor, preventing you from moving forward into the kind of life you desire. The more genuine intent you have to allow forgotten memories to resurface, the easier it will become to accept 9’s healing process.  

It is the sheer weight of past and present emotion that causes depression, even though we try to fool ourselves into believing that depression can be avoided by avoiding these emotions. This pretense creates deeper denial and, eventually, deeper depression. If you find yourself dwelling on certain emotions such as anger, fear, or grief to the extent that you cannot live constructively, there is a good chance you are using these emotions as an excuse for continuing to deny another emotion which is even more deeply buried. Denial is no longer an option on this Earth. It is denial that has caused many of the dire problems that humanity faces today. This applies as much to your personal life as it does to life in general.

Being afraid to feel your feelings is a natural response. The only way to deal with this fear is to understand that fear, like all other feelings, must be allowed to follow its own evolutionary process. It must be allowed to move. When you cling to fear you are refusing to accept its ability to help you. And, by stopping its movement you, in turn, become paralyzed by it. Feel your fear, accept its presence. Allow it to move through you and out of you. This process develops courage, and the ability to recognize those things which really do need to be feared, and those which need not be feared at all. Your feelings are your senses and instincts, all of which are vital to your survival.

Be honest with yourself. Mere positive thinking can do more harm than good if you are not simultaneously feeling that way. Your thoughts and feelings are two very different energies and must be experienced separately so that you can tell them apart. And when your masculine thoughts and feminine feelings make peace and join forces, your personal power to survive and prosper increases significantly, and your entire being evolves.

The 9 vibration takes you in what seems like the wrong direction - backwards - but this is the direction you must take in order to find the unfinished issues which are preventing you from going forward. It is natural for the 9 year cycle to be an emotional one. Not only will you be dealing with emotions from the past, but also with new emotional situations in the present which, in effect, help trigger the old feelings which need to be released.

This year’s circumstances may be reenactments of the past, in different forms, representing the consequences of certain actions, inaction, beliefs, and attitudes. You cannot live fully in the present if part of you is stuck in the past. Therefore, you will want to go back and retrieve those parts of yourself that are stuck there.  

Generosity and compassion play important roles now. Through a greater depth of feeling in yourself, you will become more sympathetic to other people’s realities and more aware of how you, and they, are compounding certain problems by denying the feelings involved. You will also become aware of the difference between compassion and guilt.

If you are reluctantly involved in something, guilt may have convinced you that it’s the right thing to do. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. But the only way to be sure is by letting your true feelings guide you. It is in the 9 year that we realize the extent to which guilt has kept us from achieving happiness and how much we have denied guilt by reversing it into blame.

In the 9 year, unhappy memories arise so they can be healed, creating more inner space for happiness to resurface. Inaccurate beliefs are replaced by new truths and potentials. As you accept what has happened to you, you develop a clearer picture of what you want to happen. The old you becomes the present you, and your Will - your desire - determines the future you. Not all endings have unhappy emotions attached. Some situations will be concluded, bringing you much relief. Don’t assume the worst. Accept that your past is the ground you had to cover in order to get to where you want to be. Your understanding of this will make your 9 year one of the most exhilarating and dynamic journeys you will ever travel.